in short.

So... it's been a long long long time friends. Many things have happened since NOVEMBER.

- Moved into a cute house with two roommates that have changed my whole way of life.
- Worked my tushy off as a temp manager over Christmas.
- Got promoted to manager at another store in Austin.
- Had my wallet stolen including all important (and useless) forms of identification.
- Told my whole life story to a room full of people.

All of these things have changed me, grown me. Life is so so good. There has been a lot of bitter with the sweet and I guess I am just grateful. I have no idea what is ahead but if the first two months of the year are any indication, year numero dos in Austin is going to be quite the adventure.

good.

" Well, I do are the two most famous last words. The beginning of the end. But to lose your life for another I've heard, is a good place to begin. Cause the only way to find your life is to lay your own life down. And I believe its an easy price for the life that we have found. "

another list.

- No matter how many times it happens, I am still surprised that Robyn knows someone EVERY SINGLE PLACE WE GO. She may not know them well, sometimes it's just a child...but seriously every time. So weird.

- Work is really great. I love being a manager, duh I'm bossy.

- I'm officially going to be moving in November. This apt has been good to me, but I am excited to live with other people.

- I have recently realized how "not dramatic" my life is. Can't say I miss it one bit.

- Austin is my favorite place in the world. I may never leave.

- My family is crazy. Wouldn't have it any other way. I may write a book about it.

- At work we were being ridiculous and had this discussion...If you could only be one of these which would it be?
~ Vampire
~ Werewolf
~ Zombie
I picked Vampire, but not a Twilight one. An awesome one. Werewolves are hairy: ew. Zombies are decayed flesh: ew. Vampires seem to be the logical choice. So what's your answer? I will say later we added wizard and obviously, given those choices, I pick wizard. Duh.

Love love.

joy and pain

I had all kinds of intentions to write a nice long blog about some things I have been processing... But the truth is I am too tired. And my brain hurts. And I have to get up way early to go to my first manager's meeting (which I am super excited about!). So you're getting the short version.

I would first like to say that I heard that 85% of Americans are extremely unhappy in their job. So. Sad. For more than one reason. It's sad that we feel we have to settle for a job we aren't passionate about in order to make money. It's sad that we don't even know what would ,ake us happy. It's sad that we aren't satisfied with the blessing of a job. I don't have a solution, or and answer really... I mostly just feel flabbergasted by that high of a number. 85%. Dang.

Also, my discipleship partner and I have been talking about sin, and how it creeps into our lives. We let these tiny sins in our lives. They are just little "pet sins". They are manageable, small, fluffy, part of who we are. They are the things we let hang around, they are welcome in our homes, we have grown complacent with them being there. And they are destroying us. We don't even see it. They eat at our souls. I guess what I am trying to say that my pet sins have become ugly monsters. They are affecting my relationships, especially the one with my Savior. And that just isn't ok.

Sorry, this did end up being long. Forgive me. Have a fantastic week. Love love.

One of those...

- Grandfather (Cast side) is out of the hospital and now in rehab. (for you that don't know the story, he got bit by a feral cat and has cellulitis in his hand and arm.) What a ridiculous disaster!

- Been working a lot more lately. Start managing in a week and a half. Crazy awesome blessing!

- Miss having Robyn in my apartment. Weird.

- So many heart vs head issues being hashed out. This being discipled thing is kicking my butt!

- I love my community so so much.

- I turn 24 in 5 days. Insane. But relatively uneventful.

- Too many things in life have become about me, Less Brooke, more everyone else. That's the new goal.

- I love cold weather, I'm sorry it has caused some of you pain but I love it. Sometimes I feel closer to God when the weather is like this. Like it's a little gift to brighten the day.

- Miss all of you so much, we should hang out soon. Love love.

Ode to Fall

Sweaters
Cold Weather
Pumpkins
Leaves
Cinnamon
Apple Cider
Halloween
Hats
Bonfires
Scarves
Family
Pie
Pea Coats
Soup
Thanksgiving
Blankets
Candy
Layers
Pumpkin Lattes


I love Fall.
Happy October!

5 more days...

I can't wait!

Seriously, how can watch this and not smile?

Commitment

This weekend marked the 60th wedding anniversary for one set of my grandparents... The other set has been married 66 years. Holy crap. That is a LONG time. Now it is unlikely that I will live long enough to have a 60th wedding anniversary because all my grandparents got married pretty young. That is if I get married of course :)

Anyway, it's just amazing to me... 60 years. They have been doing this for 60 years. They lived through the depression, wars, living on mere dollars a week, death, and new life, and everything in between... and they are still together, united, solid. Not always happy, not always healthy but after all, the vows never promised that. How many people do you know that have that kind of commitment? How often do we as people give up on something because it's hard or boring or not what we expected? Too often.

thoughts.

Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls;

the most massive characters are seared with scars"

-Kahil Gibran

lesson learned.

Look out world, day 4 here I come!

When I was a little girl both my parents worked full time. So, I frequently spent time with my Grandma. She liked to teach me little "lessons" every day. I guess she felt like teaching me was her job. I learned things like "red means stop, green means go, yellow means slow down", "leche is spanish for milk" and "hola is hello".

However, one of these little lessons that has always stuck with me is a lesson we did on coloring. I was trying to color around the picture, adding my own artistic touches. I also suck at coloring in the the lines of a picture to this day so I didn't really rock at it then. Grandma walked over to me and said "Brooke you have to try to color in the lines, Cast's color in the lines". And I have found in later years that statement a little... well interesting. I don't think a big long explanation is required as to why. All I have to say is, here's to those of us who like to color outside the lines. Keep on coloring.

rememberance

I know, I have blogged 3 days in a row... weird.

It was a year ago in May that a lovely and wildly wonderful friend of mine gave in to her sorrow and took her own life. I can't believe that the day just passed me by without any real consequence. It was a day that changed my thinking entirely.

I remember exactly the moment that Kyle, a friend from cstat, called me to tell me that Kellie was gone. I couldn't move. Couldn't even process. Sometimes I wonder if I ever really have. I remember sitting in a pew between my parents trying to hold my crap together (poorly I'll admit) because I didn't want anyone to notice us. Hugging people that I hadn't talked to in years because we all needed to know we weren't alone.

Kellie and I had known each other a long time. We struggled with some similar things and I had the priviledge of walking alongside her while she was dealing with the muck she was living in. She loved Jesus. So so much. She cared about her friends. She wanted to make the world a better place. She loved to sing and play her guitar. She was a good friend. I miss her everytime I hear any number of songs.

Kellie's death taught me so much about life and those that suicide leaves behind. It taught me that despite my sometimes overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, life is worth it. It showed me that I want to beat this depression thing. And I think I have Kellie to thank for a lot of the progress I have made in this past year.

I can't believe all that has happened since May of last year. It's easy to forget what we have learned. Not just in this situation but in all of them. How often do I revert back to junk I thought I had conquered? All the time. I miss Kellie a lot. But, I think she would have been pleased to know that those who loved her are learning from her struggles. Miss ya Kel.

I miss dancing.

A scene from one of my favs. Because I feel like it.

some random stuff.

Well, its about time for an actual update post...

- My grandfather is much better, especially since he is now at home instead of in a hospital. Thanks to those of you who kept us in your thoughts and prayers.
- I wish I could blog about work. The things that occur would crack you guys up.
- I have narrowed down my possible future to 4 general things. They will all require a lot of work and time... Therefore, I still have a lot to think about.
- Possible moving further into Austin in December. Into a house, with roommates. So exciting and scary. BUT I will have to decrease my furniture significantly.... not great. But, not bad.
- I am taking on a second job-like thing as a maid/wedding coordinator/assistant person for a friend. I think it's going to be fun and different and maybe challenging.
- I really really miss my Beltonians. And by that, I mean the Salado-ian and Miamian as well.
- I can't wait for fall/winter. My favorite seasons of the year :)

rest

Jesus is good. Even when I am terrible at life. He is good. So faithful, endlessly loving and graceful beyond my imagination. I don't understand why things have panned out this way. I have no idea what the next few months hold. But, He does. That has to be enough for now.

"The LORD is gracious and compassionate,

slow to anger and rich in love.
The LORD is good to all;

He has compassion on all he has made.
All you have made will praise you, O LORD;

Your saints will extol you.
They will tell of the glory of your kingdom

and speak of your might,
so that all men may know of your mighty acts

and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.
Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,

and your dominion endures through all generations.

The LORD is faithful to all his promises

and loving toward all he has made.
The LORD upholds all those who fall

and lifts up all who are bowed down."

Psalm 145:8-14

what a freakin' week.

- 12 meals and 72+ hours in the hospital
- 25 hours at work
- My family staying in my apartment
- 1 sick grandfather
- 1 stessed out grandmother
- 1 brother having a rough go at it

And it's only Friday. Whoa buddy.

All of that to say, I am doing great. I am exhausted, and emotional but good. The surgery went better than we could have imagined and he will have a new pace-maker placed Monday. Hopefully, the hospital fiasco will be over soon after that.

I have also been quite confused by the mass of emotions around not being in school and RA stuff this semester. Its totally weird. I should probably process throught that but I think I'll be really healthy and wait :)

I hope that for those of you starting school, it will be fantastic. And for those of you who are not and are excited about it, congrats. And for those who are confused, join the club.

Love Love.

Fix you.

This dance from SYTYCD was about wanting to help someone you love in the midst of sickness... This struck a chord with me. I think on some level we have someone we wish we could fix. I hope you like it as much as I do.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvGceaFTne8&feature=related

sappy

So, RA training is starting soon. I know that because I have seen the tweets, and facebook status stuff talking about moving back. And, its weird. I never thought I would really miss this time of year. The getting ready for classes, moving, unpacking, no sleep, Hardy food... But the truth is, in a lot of ways I do miss it. I even miss RA Training. Well... parts of it. I don't miss inventories, or having bunk beds dropped on me, or CPR with Nurse Debbie and her tampon nose-bleed stoppers... But I miss the comraderie. I miss "camp". I miss my people.

I love Austin, more than is probably natural for "person to city" love. But, people I miss you. I even miss that weird Burt smell. I know, I know, this is a ridiculous post. But, if you read this blog ever, you know I am overly-emotional and frequently far too sentimental. So here I am, proving to you that I am who you know me to be.

Have fun peeps. I miss you, and I will praying for you as the ladies move in! Love love.

a gentle reminder.

Life is a funny thing. An unpredictable, messy, lovely thing. This last month has felt a whirlwind of strange and overwhelming emotions. But this is a discussion for another day.

Tonight, this old school hymn's chorus just keeps repeating over and over in my head:

"Turn your eyes upon Jesus,

Look full in His wonderful face.

And the things of Earth will grow strangely dim,

In the light of His glory and grace."

faith.

I hate stress. Anxiousness is my least favorite emotion of all of the emotions. Ugh. More than all other topics, I despise worrying about money. I realize very clearly that I am blessed. I am more fortunate than most of the world. But sometimes, I just can't help feeling the tension of the bills coming in.

I wish I were more like some of my friends that trust that things like money will be taken care of. I wish I had faith like that. The truth is, I don't. Ladies and gents, I don't need more money... I need more faith. I feel like I am not alone in these fears. Not everyone's worry is monetarily related, but we've all got something. I hope tonight finds you free of anxiety, but I find solace in a well known and often quoted scripture. How many times have I read this and not really read it?

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

- Matthew 6:25-34

Too long to tweet.

Today's pet peeves:

-Terrible drivers, it has nothing to do with race, religion, age, or political affiliation. Whoever you are, drive better.

- People who say words like s'mores, saaamores. Dumb.

That's all, I am done complaining now :) I hope your Tuesday finds you well! Off to clean!

PS. I love my job. And you.