Baby it's a new day.

So much has happened since my last post.

First and foremost, I graduated from college. I am officially an alumni. It is so weird to have accomplished that. A little surreal if you like. My diploma was the first thing I hung on the wall in my apartment. I see it every few mins and still can't really believe it.

Speaking of the apartment, I am living in it. All by my lonesome. Let me tell you peeps, its a lot harder than I even imagined. I mean, I have never lived "with" someone. I have had my own room my whole life. But, I realized in the last two days that I have never really been alone. At home, I had two brothers and two parents constantly around. In the dorm, I lived around 160 something girls, 6 of which I knew really well. And a whole campus around me that I could see, talk to to and visit. I ate with people at least twice a day. Never really alone... unless I wanted to be. Well, I am just beginning to understand "alone". I know absolutely no one in the area. I don't even know a neighbor. That on top of having no furniture. I mean none. I have my TV, a futon mattress and a few chairs. No internet, no cable... In fact, I am paying $2.95 at McDonalds to bring you this fascinating blog post.

Honestly, I spent about 12 hours wallowing. I cried when my parents left. I moped. I sat in front of my TV, watched a sad movie and cried about how alone I was. Then, I got over it. It's all pretty humorous to me at this point. I laughed as I fell asleep in my living room on my ghetto mattress last night. It really is pretty laughable.

But more than that, its an adventure. This is my life and I am hereby refusing to hide from it. My hours of fear and agoraphobia might return momentarily, but I would ask that you 4 people that read this pray for me. I want to grab this opportunity with all that it's worth. I know that is what God intends. More on this later. Headed to my first day of work here in Austin, Wish me luck!

Grape flavored groping...

1 freakin' day. 1. That's it.

I will be an Alumni in 1 day. I move into my apartment Saturday. I start my new job officially on Monday. Holy Cow. I can't even process this stuff as it is happening so fast. I have spent this week trying to get in as much time with people around work and finals and moving and having a super awesome case of cellulitus. I can't believe I am leaving all of these people behind. It has come as quite the surprise to me how much I really love them, how much of a family you all have become.

Of course I am excited to move to Austin, my dream city. Excited about the people I'll meet and invest in. The freedom of be independent and free from other people's opinions about how I am living. No more school and tests and papers and finals and stupid professors...

But part of me is scared. I don't want to leave. I want to cling to my bed post like a 5-year-old and cry. I want to hide under my bed under the blankets and pretend that this isn't happening. I want to believe that I have more time, that this isn't the end.

This is where I find myself. In the middle of ecstatic and terrified. Rehearsal is tomorrow. I'll let you know how it goes...

PS. This blog title is dedicated to one Ms. Robyn Pharis who requested it. And to my little brother Todd who doesn't read my blog :)

7 days...

I know I know... its been a while. My life has been nutso.

Before I get into the serious stuff, I would just like to say I LOVE cold weather. Love Love Love. It makes me feel alive.


Since my last blog I have:

- Started training at AT&T
- Bought a Washer and Dryer
- Signed a year lease in Cedar Park
- Started moving all my junk
- Sat through my last college class as an undergrad
- Seen some really pleasant snow flurries
- Wrote 42 pages of paper in 50 hours
- Only had one major breakdown :)

On a similar note, I made my first commission today. Six. whole. dollars. Now, scoff at that if you like. Please do. I would if I were you. But, can I tell you... I am prouder of that measly, laughable amount of money than I have been for most of the other money I have ever earned. I have worked really hard to learn this cell phone stuff as quickly as possible. There is a lot to learn and it is really easy to screw things up. For the first time in a long time I am proud of myself. Proud of a hard honest days work. Looking forward to all the things I am learning. Excited about the challenge.

I am totally and overwhelmingly blown away by God's sovereignty. Listen up people, He really does know what He's doing.