" Well, I do are the two most famous last words. The beginning of the end. But to lose your life for another I've heard, is a good place to begin. Cause the only way to find your life is to lay your own life down. And I believe its an easy price for the life that we have found. "
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
another list.
- No matter how many times it happens, I am still surprised that Robyn knows someone EVERY SINGLE PLACE WE GO. She may not know them well, sometimes it's just a child...but seriously every time. So weird.
- Work is really great. I love being a manager, duh I'm bossy.
- I'm officially going to be moving in November. This apt has been good to me, but I am excited to live with other people.
- I have recently realized how "not dramatic" my life is. Can't say I miss it one bit.
- Austin is my favorite place in the world. I may never leave.
- My family is crazy. Wouldn't have it any other way. I may write a book about it.
- At work we were being ridiculous and had this discussion...If you could only be one of these which would it be?
~ Vampire
~ Werewolf
~ Zombie
I picked Vampire, but not a Twilight one. An awesome one. Werewolves are hairy: ew. Zombies are decayed flesh: ew. Vampires seem to be the logical choice. So what's your answer? I will say later we added wizard and obviously, given those choices, I pick wizard. Duh.
Love love.
- Work is really great. I love being a manager, duh I'm bossy.
- I'm officially going to be moving in November. This apt has been good to me, but I am excited to live with other people.
- I have recently realized how "not dramatic" my life is. Can't say I miss it one bit.
- Austin is my favorite place in the world. I may never leave.
- My family is crazy. Wouldn't have it any other way. I may write a book about it.
- At work we were being ridiculous and had this discussion...If you could only be one of these which would it be?
~ Vampire
~ Werewolf
~ Zombie
I picked Vampire, but not a Twilight one. An awesome one. Werewolves are hairy: ew. Zombies are decayed flesh: ew. Vampires seem to be the logical choice. So what's your answer? I will say later we added wizard and obviously, given those choices, I pick wizard. Duh.
Love love.
Monday, October 18, 2010
joy and pain
I had all kinds of intentions to write a nice long blog about some things I have been processing... But the truth is I am too tired. And my brain hurts. And I have to get up way early to go to my first manager's meeting (which I am super excited about!). So you're getting the short version.
I would first like to say that I heard that 85% of Americans are extremely unhappy in their job. So. Sad. For more than one reason. It's sad that we feel we have to settle for a job we aren't passionate about in order to make money. It's sad that we don't even know what would ,ake us happy. It's sad that we aren't satisfied with the blessing of a job. I don't have a solution, or and answer really... I mostly just feel flabbergasted by that high of a number. 85%. Dang.
Also, my discipleship partner and I have been talking about sin, and how it creeps into our lives. We let these tiny sins in our lives. They are just little "pet sins". They are manageable, small, fluffy, part of who we are. They are the things we let hang around, they are welcome in our homes, we have grown complacent with them being there. And they are destroying us. We don't even see it. They eat at our souls. I guess what I am trying to say that my pet sins have become ugly monsters. They are affecting my relationships, especially the one with my Savior. And that just isn't ok.
Sorry, this did end up being long. Forgive me. Have a fantastic week. Love love.
I would first like to say that I heard that 85% of Americans are extremely unhappy in their job. So. Sad. For more than one reason. It's sad that we feel we have to settle for a job we aren't passionate about in order to make money. It's sad that we don't even know what would ,ake us happy. It's sad that we aren't satisfied with the blessing of a job. I don't have a solution, or and answer really... I mostly just feel flabbergasted by that high of a number. 85%. Dang.
Also, my discipleship partner and I have been talking about sin, and how it creeps into our lives. We let these tiny sins in our lives. They are just little "pet sins". They are manageable, small, fluffy, part of who we are. They are the things we let hang around, they are welcome in our homes, we have grown complacent with them being there. And they are destroying us. We don't even see it. They eat at our souls. I guess what I am trying to say that my pet sins have become ugly monsters. They are affecting my relationships, especially the one with my Savior. And that just isn't ok.
Sorry, this did end up being long. Forgive me. Have a fantastic week. Love love.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
One of those...
- Grandfather (Cast side) is out of the hospital and now in rehab. (for you that don't know the story, he got bit by a feral cat and has cellulitis in his hand and arm.) What a ridiculous disaster!
- Been working a lot more lately. Start managing in a week and a half. Crazy awesome blessing!
- Miss having Robyn in my apartment. Weird.
- So many heart vs head issues being hashed out. This being discipled thing is kicking my butt!
- I love my community so so much.
- I turn 24 in 5 days. Insane. But relatively uneventful.
- Too many things in life have become about me, Less Brooke, more everyone else. That's the new goal.
- I love cold weather, I'm sorry it has caused some of you pain but I love it. Sometimes I feel closer to God when the weather is like this. Like it's a little gift to brighten the day.
- Miss all of you so much, we should hang out soon. Love love.
- Been working a lot more lately. Start managing in a week and a half. Crazy awesome blessing!
- Miss having Robyn in my apartment. Weird.
- So many heart vs head issues being hashed out. This being discipled thing is kicking my butt!
- I love my community so so much.
- I turn 24 in 5 days. Insane. But relatively uneventful.
- Too many things in life have become about me, Less Brooke, more everyone else. That's the new goal.
- I love cold weather, I'm sorry it has caused some of you pain but I love it. Sometimes I feel closer to God when the weather is like this. Like it's a little gift to brighten the day.
- Miss all of you so much, we should hang out soon. Love love.
Friday, October 1, 2010
Ode to Fall
Sweaters
Cold Weather
Pumpkins
Leaves
Cinnamon
Apple Cider
Halloween
Hats
Bonfires
Scarves
Family
Pie
Pea Coats
Soup
Thanksgiving
Blankets
Candy
Layers
Pumpkin Lattes
I love Fall.
Happy October!
Cold Weather
Pumpkins
Leaves
Cinnamon
Apple Cider
Halloween
Hats
Bonfires
Scarves
Family
Pie
Pea Coats
Soup
Thanksgiving
Blankets
Candy
Layers
Pumpkin Lattes
I love Fall.
Happy October!
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Monday, September 13, 2010
Commitment
This weekend marked the 60th wedding anniversary for one set of my grandparents... The other set has been married 66 years. Holy crap. That is a LONG time. Now it is unlikely that I will live long enough to have a 60th wedding anniversary because all my grandparents got married pretty young. That is if I get married of course :)
Anyway, it's just amazing to me... 60 years. They have been doing this for 60 years. They lived through the depression, wars, living on mere dollars a week, death, and new life, and everything in between... and they are still together, united, solid. Not always happy, not always healthy but after all, the vows never promised that. How many people do you know that have that kind of commitment? How often do we as people give up on something because it's hard or boring or not what we expected? Too often.
Anyway, it's just amazing to me... 60 years. They have been doing this for 60 years. They lived through the depression, wars, living on mere dollars a week, death, and new life, and everything in between... and they are still together, united, solid. Not always happy, not always healthy but after all, the vows never promised that. How many people do you know that have that kind of commitment? How often do we as people give up on something because it's hard or boring or not what we expected? Too often.
Monday, September 6, 2010
thoughts.
Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls;
the most massive characters are seared with scars"
-Kahil Gibran
Friday, September 3, 2010
lesson learned.
Look out world, day 4 here I come!
When I was a little girl both my parents worked full time. So, I frequently spent time with my Grandma. She liked to teach me little "lessons" every day. I guess she felt like teaching me was her job. I learned things like "red means stop, green means go, yellow means slow down", "leche is spanish for milk" and "hola is hello".
However, one of these little lessons that has always stuck with me is a lesson we did on coloring. I was trying to color around the picture, adding my own artistic touches. I also suck at coloring in the the lines of a picture to this day so I didn't really rock at it then. Grandma walked over to me and said "Brooke you have to try to color in the lines, Cast's color in the lines". And I have found in later years that statement a little... well interesting. I don't think a big long explanation is required as to why. All I have to say is, here's to those of us who like to color outside the lines. Keep on coloring.
When I was a little girl both my parents worked full time. So, I frequently spent time with my Grandma. She liked to teach me little "lessons" every day. I guess she felt like teaching me was her job. I learned things like "red means stop, green means go, yellow means slow down", "leche is spanish for milk" and "hola is hello".
However, one of these little lessons that has always stuck with me is a lesson we did on coloring. I was trying to color around the picture, adding my own artistic touches. I also suck at coloring in the the lines of a picture to this day so I didn't really rock at it then. Grandma walked over to me and said "Brooke you have to try to color in the lines, Cast's color in the lines". And I have found in later years that statement a little... well interesting. I don't think a big long explanation is required as to why. All I have to say is, here's to those of us who like to color outside the lines. Keep on coloring.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
rememberance
I know, I have blogged 3 days in a row... weird.
It was a year ago in May that a lovely and wildly wonderful friend of mine gave in to her sorrow and took her own life. I can't believe that the day just passed me by without any real consequence. It was a day that changed my thinking entirely.
I remember exactly the moment that Kyle, a friend from cstat, called me to tell me that Kellie was gone. I couldn't move. Couldn't even process. Sometimes I wonder if I ever really have. I remember sitting in a pew between my parents trying to hold my crap together (poorly I'll admit) because I didn't want anyone to notice us. Hugging people that I hadn't talked to in years because we all needed to know we weren't alone.
Kellie and I had known each other a long time. We struggled with some similar things and I had the priviledge of walking alongside her while she was dealing with the muck she was living in. She loved Jesus. So so much. She cared about her friends. She wanted to make the world a better place. She loved to sing and play her guitar. She was a good friend. I miss her everytime I hear any number of songs.
Kellie's death taught me so much about life and those that suicide leaves behind. It taught me that despite my sometimes overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, life is worth it. It showed me that I want to beat this depression thing. And I think I have Kellie to thank for a lot of the progress I have made in this past year.
I can't believe all that has happened since May of last year. It's easy to forget what we have learned. Not just in this situation but in all of them. How often do I revert back to junk I thought I had conquered? All the time. I miss Kellie a lot. But, I think she would have been pleased to know that those who loved her are learning from her struggles. Miss ya Kel.
It was a year ago in May that a lovely and wildly wonderful friend of mine gave in to her sorrow and took her own life. I can't believe that the day just passed me by without any real consequence. It was a day that changed my thinking entirely.
I remember exactly the moment that Kyle, a friend from cstat, called me to tell me that Kellie was gone. I couldn't move. Couldn't even process. Sometimes I wonder if I ever really have. I remember sitting in a pew between my parents trying to hold my crap together (poorly I'll admit) because I didn't want anyone to notice us. Hugging people that I hadn't talked to in years because we all needed to know we weren't alone.
Kellie and I had known each other a long time. We struggled with some similar things and I had the priviledge of walking alongside her while she was dealing with the muck she was living in. She loved Jesus. So so much. She cared about her friends. She wanted to make the world a better place. She loved to sing and play her guitar. She was a good friend. I miss her everytime I hear any number of songs.
Kellie's death taught me so much about life and those that suicide leaves behind. It taught me that despite my sometimes overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, life is worth it. It showed me that I want to beat this depression thing. And I think I have Kellie to thank for a lot of the progress I have made in this past year.
I can't believe all that has happened since May of last year. It's easy to forget what we have learned. Not just in this situation but in all of them. How often do I revert back to junk I thought I had conquered? All the time. I miss Kellie a lot. But, I think she would have been pleased to know that those who loved her are learning from her struggles. Miss ya Kel.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
some random stuff.
Well, its about time for an actual update post...
- My grandfather is much better, especially since he is now at home instead of in a hospital. Thanks to those of you who kept us in your thoughts and prayers.
- I wish I could blog about work. The things that occur would crack you guys up.
- I have narrowed down my possible future to 4 general things. They will all require a lot of work and time... Therefore, I still have a lot to think about.
- Possible moving further into Austin in December. Into a house, with roommates. So exciting and scary. BUT I will have to decrease my furniture significantly.... not great. But, not bad.
- I am taking on a second job-like thing as a maid/wedding coordinator/assistant person for a friend. I think it's going to be fun and different and maybe challenging.
- I really really miss my Beltonians. And by that, I mean the Salado-ian and Miamian as well.
- I can't wait for fall/winter. My favorite seasons of the year :)
- My grandfather is much better, especially since he is now at home instead of in a hospital. Thanks to those of you who kept us in your thoughts and prayers.
- I wish I could blog about work. The things that occur would crack you guys up.
- I have narrowed down my possible future to 4 general things. They will all require a lot of work and time... Therefore, I still have a lot to think about.
- Possible moving further into Austin in December. Into a house, with roommates. So exciting and scary. BUT I will have to decrease my furniture significantly.... not great. But, not bad.
- I am taking on a second job-like thing as a maid/wedding coordinator/assistant person for a friend. I think it's going to be fun and different and maybe challenging.
- I really really miss my Beltonians. And by that, I mean the Salado-ian and Miamian as well.
- I can't wait for fall/winter. My favorite seasons of the year :)
Friday, August 27, 2010
rest
Jesus is good. Even when I am terrible at life. He is good. So faithful, endlessly loving and graceful beyond my imagination. I don't understand why things have panned out this way. I have no idea what the next few months hold. But, He does. That has to be enough for now.
"The LORD is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and rich in love.
The LORD is good to all;
The LORD is good to all;
He has compassion on all he has made.
All you have made will praise you, O LORD;
All you have made will praise you, O LORD;
Your saints will extol you.
They will tell of the glory of your kingdom
They will tell of the glory of your kingdom
and speak of your might,
so that all men may know of your mighty acts
so that all men may know of your mighty acts
and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.
Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,
Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,
and your dominion endures through all generations.
The LORD is faithful to all his promises
and loving toward all he has made.
The LORD upholds all those who fall
The LORD upholds all those who fall
and lifts up all who are bowed down."
Psalm 145:8-14
Thursday, August 19, 2010
what a freakin' week.
- 12 meals and 72+ hours in the hospital
- 25 hours at work
- My family staying in my apartment
- 1 sick grandfather
- 1 stessed out grandmother
- 1 brother having a rough go at it
And it's only Friday. Whoa buddy.
All of that to say, I am doing great. I am exhausted, and emotional but good. The surgery went better than we could have imagined and he will have a new pace-maker placed Monday. Hopefully, the hospital fiasco will be over soon after that.
I have also been quite confused by the mass of emotions around not being in school and RA stuff this semester. Its totally weird. I should probably process throught that but I think I'll be really healthy and wait :)
I hope that for those of you starting school, it will be fantastic. And for those of you who are not and are excited about it, congrats. And for those who are confused, join the club.
Love Love.
- 25 hours at work
- My family staying in my apartment
- 1 sick grandfather
- 1 stessed out grandmother
- 1 brother having a rough go at it
And it's only Friday. Whoa buddy.
All of that to say, I am doing great. I am exhausted, and emotional but good. The surgery went better than we could have imagined and he will have a new pace-maker placed Monday. Hopefully, the hospital fiasco will be over soon after that.
I have also been quite confused by the mass of emotions around not being in school and RA stuff this semester. Its totally weird. I should probably process throught that but I think I'll be really healthy and wait :)
I hope that for those of you starting school, it will be fantastic. And for those of you who are not and are excited about it, congrats. And for those who are confused, join the club.
Love Love.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Fix you.
This dance from SYTYCD was about wanting to help someone you love in the midst of sickness... This struck a chord with me. I think on some level we have someone we wish we could fix. I hope you like it as much as I do.
sappy
So, RA training is starting soon. I know that because I have seen the tweets, and facebook status stuff talking about moving back. And, its weird. I never thought I would really miss this time of year. The getting ready for classes, moving, unpacking, no sleep, Hardy food... But the truth is, in a lot of ways I do miss it. I even miss RA Training. Well... parts of it. I don't miss inventories, or having bunk beds dropped on me, or CPR with Nurse Debbie and her tampon nose-bleed stoppers... But I miss the comraderie. I miss "camp". I miss my people.
I love Austin, more than is probably natural for "person to city" love. But, people I miss you. I even miss that weird Burt smell. I know, I know, this is a ridiculous post. But, if you read this blog ever, you know I am overly-emotional and frequently far too sentimental. So here I am, proving to you that I am who you know me to be.
Have fun peeps. I miss you, and I will praying for you as the ladies move in! Love love.
I love Austin, more than is probably natural for "person to city" love. But, people I miss you. I even miss that weird Burt smell. I know, I know, this is a ridiculous post. But, if you read this blog ever, you know I am overly-emotional and frequently far too sentimental. So here I am, proving to you that I am who you know me to be.
Have fun peeps. I miss you, and I will praying for you as the ladies move in! Love love.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
a gentle reminder.
Life is a funny thing. An unpredictable, messy, lovely thing. This last month has felt a whirlwind of strange and overwhelming emotions. But this is a discussion for another day.
Tonight, this old school hymn's chorus just keeps repeating over and over in my head:
Tonight, this old school hymn's chorus just keeps repeating over and over in my head:
"Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face.
And the things of Earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace."
Friday, July 30, 2010
faith.
I hate stress. Anxiousness is my least favorite emotion of all of the emotions. Ugh. More than all other topics, I despise worrying about money. I realize very clearly that I am blessed. I am more fortunate than most of the world. But sometimes, I just can't help feeling the tension of the bills coming in.
I wish I were more like some of my friends that trust that things like money will be taken care of. I wish I had faith like that. The truth is, I don't. Ladies and gents, I don't need more money... I need more faith. I feel like I am not alone in these fears. Not everyone's worry is monetarily related, but we've all got something. I hope tonight finds you free of anxiety, but I find solace in a well known and often quoted scripture. How many times have I read this and not really read it?
I wish I were more like some of my friends that trust that things like money will be taken care of. I wish I had faith like that. The truth is, I don't. Ladies and gents, I don't need more money... I need more faith. I feel like I am not alone in these fears. Not everyone's worry is monetarily related, but we've all got something. I hope tonight finds you free of anxiety, but I find solace in a well known and often quoted scripture. How many times have I read this and not really read it?
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
- Matthew 6:25-34
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Too long to tweet.
Today's pet peeves:
-Terrible drivers, it has nothing to do with race, religion, age, or political affiliation. Whoever you are, drive better.
- People who say words like s'mores, saaamores. Dumb.
That's all, I am done complaining now :) I hope your Tuesday finds you well! Off to clean!
PS. I love my job. And you.
-Terrible drivers, it has nothing to do with race, religion, age, or political affiliation. Whoever you are, drive better.
- People who say words like s'mores, saaamores. Dumb.
That's all, I am done complaining now :) I hope your Tuesday finds you well! Off to clean!
PS. I love my job. And you.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
something to smile about.
I saw this postcard on postsecret.com today. I just really liked it. If you don't read postsecret, its a great one... Hope you're having a fabulous Sunday! Love love.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Keeping it real.
I have been told by the lovely Angie that I need to blog and after I received her insight I looked (Holy Crap, it has been a while) and said oops. Sorry to the 5 people who read this blog! The truth of the matter is I have been busy! Which in all honesty, is a welcome and wonderful change.
My pastor had a sermon a few weeks ago about how Jesus changes our workplace and he opened up with the Garden of Eden and the model that God set there for people at work. Granted, when "the fall" occurred, work became a lot more difficult. Nonetheless, people were created to work. All throughout the bible we read about working as unto the Lord and obeying our masters and so on and so forth. We were made to work, we were never made to be lethargic. Heck one of the "7 deadly sins" is sloth. After 2 months of being jobless and now having a job, I TOTALLY get it. My first day of work it was like a light bulb appeared above my head (cartoon style). It felt good to work. Good to be doing something, however trivial it seems.
All of this to say, God is so good and I am so grateful. This is certainly not what I had in mind when I graduated in December. But it is obvious to me that God is working. There is purpose and although I am not aware of the plan, He is.
My pastor had a sermon a few weeks ago about how Jesus changes our workplace and he opened up with the Garden of Eden and the model that God set there for people at work. Granted, when "the fall" occurred, work became a lot more difficult. Nonetheless, people were created to work. All throughout the bible we read about working as unto the Lord and obeying our masters and so on and so forth. We were made to work, we were never made to be lethargic. Heck one of the "7 deadly sins" is sloth. After 2 months of being jobless and now having a job, I TOTALLY get it. My first day of work it was like a light bulb appeared above my head (cartoon style). It felt good to work. Good to be doing something, however trivial it seems.
All of this to say, God is so good and I am so grateful. This is certainly not what I had in mind when I graduated in December. But it is obvious to me that God is working. There is purpose and although I am not aware of the plan, He is.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Letters to my former self.
Yeah Yeah, I got this from someone else. So what? It sounded like fun.
Dear 3 year old Brooke - Well mom just had your first little brother. I know your frustrated because you don't understand why everyone cares about him so much. And I know that your jealous because this is the first time that all the attention isn't on you. However, you should know that you are going to love that little brother along with another one more than you can even believe right now. They will be some of your best friends. Hug them both all the time. You're going to miss them when you live elsewhere. A word to the wise: hide all your electronic toys, and snow globes. (Along with everything else). Once this kid is mobile, they will all be destroyed.
Dear 13-18 year old Brooke - I know your angry right now. A lot of things haven't been going your way and your having a pretty hard time with it. I want you to remember that you are loved and that despite the fact that you feel hopeless there is some much life to be lived out there. Some day this will all be a memory. In fact, these moments will be some of your greatest opportunities for ministry. Dealing with this will get easier and you just hang in there. Lean on the people around you. They care more than you give them credit for. Life is adventure and sometimes that means it's hard. Also, cut your parents some slack, they are smarter than you think and trying harder than you know.
Dear 20-22 year old Brooke - Soak up this time in your life! You are surrounded by some of the best friends you have ever had! Don't put off your senior projects until the week before they are due... You will save yourself a lot of all-nighters! Stop worrying about where your job will be or what you will do. It all works itself out. Have lots of fun and really relish in your friendships, people like you have found are hard to come by. Also, take time to grow here. It is a safe place, take advantage of that.
Dear current Brooke - Well, life has certainly been a whirlwind lately. Remember that the job you lost is not the end of the world. A lot of that business was beyond your control. Cling to your savior and the people who love Him and you. God has a plan, it is bigger than yours. Don't forget to appreciate this blessing of extra time and use it to learn and grow. You need it.
Dear 3 year old Brooke - Well mom just had your first little brother. I know your frustrated because you don't understand why everyone cares about him so much. And I know that your jealous because this is the first time that all the attention isn't on you. However, you should know that you are going to love that little brother along with another one more than you can even believe right now. They will be some of your best friends. Hug them both all the time. You're going to miss them when you live elsewhere. A word to the wise: hide all your electronic toys, and snow globes. (Along with everything else). Once this kid is mobile, they will all be destroyed.
Dear 13-18 year old Brooke - I know your angry right now. A lot of things haven't been going your way and your having a pretty hard time with it. I want you to remember that you are loved and that despite the fact that you feel hopeless there is some much life to be lived out there. Some day this will all be a memory. In fact, these moments will be some of your greatest opportunities for ministry. Dealing with this will get easier and you just hang in there. Lean on the people around you. They care more than you give them credit for. Life is adventure and sometimes that means it's hard. Also, cut your parents some slack, they are smarter than you think and trying harder than you know.
Dear 20-22 year old Brooke - Soak up this time in your life! You are surrounded by some of the best friends you have ever had! Don't put off your senior projects until the week before they are due... You will save yourself a lot of all-nighters! Stop worrying about where your job will be or what you will do. It all works itself out. Have lots of fun and really relish in your friendships, people like you have found are hard to come by. Also, take time to grow here. It is a safe place, take advantage of that.
Dear current Brooke - Well, life has certainly been a whirlwind lately. Remember that the job you lost is not the end of the world. A lot of that business was beyond your control. Cling to your savior and the people who love Him and you. God has a plan, it is bigger than yours. Don't forget to appreciate this blessing of extra time and use it to learn and grow. You need it.
Monday, June 28, 2010
New Directions
Well folks, I will be seeing a lot more of this in my future! I am the newest employee of Bath and Bodyworks Outlet! Yes, it is part time and minimum wage but it's a job! Yay! Thanks to all of you who prayed, called, visited and well just plain loved me. Who knows what's next or what God is doing here? Whatever it is I am excited! I start Wednesday! What's your favorite scent from B&B?
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Speeding Tickets.
Should I feel guilty that I am taking my defensive driving class while writing this blog, watching So You Think You Can Dance and surfing Facebook?
Well, I don't.
Does that make me a bad person?
I have to find a job, like yesterday. I know that God is in control. I know I have to be patient and that the job I didn't get this week that I really wanted wasn't part of the plan. I have no idea what God is doing.
On another note, I love So You Think You Can Dance. A lot.
Oh and I miss you.
Well, I don't.
Does that make me a bad person?
I have to find a job, like yesterday. I know that God is in control. I know I have to be patient and that the job I didn't get this week that I really wanted wasn't part of the plan. I have no idea what God is doing.
On another note, I love So You Think You Can Dance. A lot.
Oh and I miss you.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Community
"Left to my own devices I will consistently choose my old ways". My pastor has been saying that over and over in one way or another in my past months here in Austin. It has been a continuous discussion about community, about it's importance. I have always known that community is important. My friends are some of the most important things in my life.
In the past months my mind has been blown over and over again by how little I truly understood about community. Depending on each other wholly. Knowing honestly what is going on each other's lives, what each of us is struggling with. Walking in those struggles together. Holding each other accountable. Openly confessing when we screw up. Loving each other despite the human failings that war against community happening.
There is obviously a lot more to this discussion; a lot more I have learned and will learn. This system isn't perfect. All of this just to say that community is vital. I can say that I have learned that the hard way. We can't do this all on our own. Thank goodness we don't have to.
In the past months my mind has been blown over and over again by how little I truly understood about community. Depending on each other wholly. Knowing honestly what is going on each other's lives, what each of us is struggling with. Walking in those struggles together. Holding each other accountable. Openly confessing when we screw up. Loving each other despite the human failings that war against community happening.
There is obviously a lot more to this discussion; a lot more I have learned and will learn. This system isn't perfect. All of this just to say that community is vital. I can say that I have learned that the hard way. We can't do this all on our own. Thank goodness we don't have to.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Presto Change-o
Well folks, as you can see I have changed the blog. I had been thinking about it and then Allye G. and Robyn A. (and Sarah not so long ago) did it and I couldn't help myself. I am such a copy cat :) Any-who, I hope you like it. If you have a criticism please submit it. I won't view it personally.
I have had a very interesting week. It started with me driving one of my best friends in the whole world to the airport and watching her get on a plane and flying away for who knows how long. I waited until I got to the car to cry (You're welcome Ang). I was pretty amazed I could. I thought I would lose it, apparently I am unpredictable... even to myself. As you read this, pray for Angie. She is brave, braver than me. I love ya lady!
Then I had a job interview with the City of Georgetown! It went better than any interview I have ever had! There was a lot of questions and it was a panel interview, which is unusual but something I had done before. (Thanks UMHB)! Speaking of which, they told me that the reason they gave me a shot was because I had worked in a college dorm. Apparently, if I can handle that, I can handle this job! Put that sucker on your resume ladies and gents!
The last thing I wish to say is that I would like to thank you all for praying for me. These last couple of weeks I have felt the most unusual peace. The kind that is surprising, unexpected, overwhelming, inexplicable. The kind that God dishes out. Between Angie leaving, the job interview, and my feelings of depression I normally would have had a "rough week". But I have had such peace. Everything isn't perfect, but God is the one in charge. I know that I would not be feeling this peace without Him or without each of you. For that I thank you.
To end on a completely ridiculous note, I would like to say that I don't understand the world's fascination with vampires. Pale, boring, blood suckers w/ centuries of baggage? Yeah, sounds great.
I have had a very interesting week. It started with me driving one of my best friends in the whole world to the airport and watching her get on a plane and flying away for who knows how long. I waited until I got to the car to cry (You're welcome Ang). I was pretty amazed I could. I thought I would lose it, apparently I am unpredictable... even to myself. As you read this, pray for Angie. She is brave, braver than me. I love ya lady!
Then I had a job interview with the City of Georgetown! It went better than any interview I have ever had! There was a lot of questions and it was a panel interview, which is unusual but something I had done before. (Thanks UMHB)! Speaking of which, they told me that the reason they gave me a shot was because I had worked in a college dorm. Apparently, if I can handle that, I can handle this job! Put that sucker on your resume ladies and gents!
The last thing I wish to say is that I would like to thank you all for praying for me. These last couple of weeks I have felt the most unusual peace. The kind that is surprising, unexpected, overwhelming, inexplicable. The kind that God dishes out. Between Angie leaving, the job interview, and my feelings of depression I normally would have had a "rough week". But I have had such peace. Everything isn't perfect, but God is the one in charge. I know that I would not be feeling this peace without Him or without each of you. For that I thank you.
To end on a completely ridiculous note, I would like to say that I don't understand the world's fascination with vampires. Pale, boring, blood suckers w/ centuries of baggage? Yeah, sounds great.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Love.
There is love that came for us
Humbled to a sinner's cross
You broke my shame and sinfuless
You rose again victorious
Faithfulness none can deny
Through the strom and through the fire
There is truth that sets me free
Jesus Christ who lives in me
You are stronger you are stronger
Sin is broken
You have saved me
It is written
Christ is risen
Jesus you are Lord of all
No beginning and no end
You're my hope and my defense
You came to seek and save the lost
You paid it all upon the cross
So let your name be lifted higher
Be lifted higher be lifted higher
Humbled to a sinner's cross
You broke my shame and sinfuless
You rose again victorious
Faithfulness none can deny
Through the strom and through the fire
There is truth that sets me free
Jesus Christ who lives in me
You are stronger you are stronger
Sin is broken
You have saved me
It is written
Christ is risen
Jesus you are Lord of all
No beginning and no end
You're my hope and my defense
You came to seek and save the lost
You paid it all upon the cross
So let your name be lifted higher
Be lifted higher be lifted higher
Friday, June 4, 2010
I like lists.
- I have a job interview on Wednesday... I really want to get this job. However I have little to no anxiety about it. I think I am finally coming to the realization that God has this. No matter what happens. It's a good place to be.
- Upon my new obsession with Criminal Minds, I have also fallen in love with Dr. Spencer Reed. He is delightfully nerdy and awkward. I realize he is fictional. I think that's half the attraction.
- I can't believe that my youngest brother graduated from high school week ago... Crazy.
- Every time I see a new reality show commercial I wonder who watches this crap. Did you know there is a show about being an exterminator? And one about ice truckers? What the heck?
- Sarah looks beautiful in her wedding dress. This time next year we will be in full wedding prep mode. How exciting!
- Angie is moving to Miami really soon. I am really going to miss her. I don't even want to think about it.
- My parents up and left for Colorado this week, on a whim. And we wonder where I get my eccentricities...
- Upon my new obsession with Criminal Minds, I have also fallen in love with Dr. Spencer Reed. He is delightfully nerdy and awkward. I realize he is fictional. I think that's half the attraction.
- I can't believe that my youngest brother graduated from high school week ago... Crazy.
- Every time I see a new reality show commercial I wonder who watches this crap. Did you know there is a show about being an exterminator? And one about ice truckers? What the heck?
- Sarah looks beautiful in her wedding dress. This time next year we will be in full wedding prep mode. How exciting!
- Angie is moving to Miami really soon. I am really going to miss her. I don't even want to think about it.
- My parents up and left for Colorado this week, on a whim. And we wonder where I get my eccentricities...
Monday, May 31, 2010
conviction.
I am blessed.
Sometimes I forget.
But I am so so so very blessed.
This month I have forgotten.
This is not going to kill me.
God has always been faithful.
He has never left me.
I am not alone.
The plan is uncertain.
The road looks dark and scary.
But He is bigger than that.
So much bigger.
I do not know what comes next.
But I am ready.
More than that, I am blessed.
Unbelievably blessed.
Sometimes I forget.
But I am so so so very blessed.
This month I have forgotten.
This is not going to kill me.
God has always been faithful.
He has never left me.
I am not alone.
The plan is uncertain.
The road looks dark and scary.
But He is bigger than that.
So much bigger.
I do not know what comes next.
But I am ready.
More than that, I am blessed.
Unbelievably blessed.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
self-enlightenment
Things I have discovered since being unemployed:
- Game shows stress me out
- Without any motivation to go somewhere, I don't
- There is nothing good on TV, especially during the daytime
- My neighbors are noisy
- I hate being bored, I will find almost anything to do (short of illegal activities) to prevent it
- I have a whole duffel bag full of approx. 35 t-shirts that I didn't unpack that I completely forgot existed in the bottom of my closet... I haven't even missed them
- Facebook is a soul and time sucking invention
- There are lots of jobs available in Austin and I am either over or under qualified for all of them
- I have a lot of learning/growing left to do
- I have really good friends, I don't deserve them
- Game shows stress me out
- Without any motivation to go somewhere, I don't
- There is nothing good on TV, especially during the daytime
- My neighbors are noisy
- I hate being bored, I will find almost anything to do (short of illegal activities) to prevent it
- I have a whole duffel bag full of approx. 35 t-shirts that I didn't unpack that I completely forgot existed in the bottom of my closet... I haven't even missed them
- Facebook is a soul and time sucking invention
- There are lots of jobs available in Austin and I am either over or under qualified for all of them
- I have a lot of learning/growing left to do
- I have really good friends, I don't deserve them
Thursday, May 13, 2010
on repeat.
How deep the Father's love for us
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
And make a wretch His treasure
How great the pain of searing loss
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the Chosen One
Bring many sons to glory
Behold the man upon the cross
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed, I hear my mocking voice
Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished
I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection
Why should I gain from His reward
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom
Why should I gain from His reward
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom
Monday, May 3, 2010
Penelope Lives!
Well much to my surprise I came home to find my little herb garden sprouting some herbs. I am so proud of her :) Here is a photo of her progress.... The dill and basil and showing, no sign of the chives yet:
In other news... here is the brief run down on how life is going:
- I still don't have a job, yes I am discouraged and frustrated.
- Every conversation I have had recently has been about the job situation. I know it's kind of what's going on with me right now but seriously isn't there anything else to discuss?
- The bachelorette party for Rach this weekend was super fun, I can't wait for the wedding
- I have really been missing my Belton friends this week, they are all at "camp" and I wish I was there .
- Robyn and Angie are graduating this weekend. That is nuts. I am so excited!
- Todd graduates at the end of May, even crazier!
- Life is turning out to be nothing like I expected... what an adventure this is turning out to be...
In other news... here is the brief run down on how life is going:- I still don't have a job, yes I am discouraged and frustrated.
- Every conversation I have had recently has been about the job situation. I know it's kind of what's going on with me right now but seriously isn't there anything else to discuss?
- The bachelorette party for Rach this weekend was super fun, I can't wait for the wedding
- I have really been missing my Belton friends this week, they are all at "camp" and I wish I was there .
- Robyn and Angie are graduating this weekend. That is nuts. I am so excited!
- Todd graduates at the end of May, even crazier!
- Life is turning out to be nothing like I expected... what an adventure this is turning out to be...
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Penelope Petunia
Today I finished planting my herb garden. So far I am only growing basil, dill and chives but I am loving my little pot of dirt so far :) As you may have guessed, I named her Penelope Petunia. You can call her Ms. Petunia if your feeling sassy. I am hoping that investing in growing something will be good for me psychologically. I have heard that is the case. Here is her first photo :)
I would also like to say thanks to my lovely friends for coming to visit recently. I had a blast with Allye and then Robyn this week! And then hang out time with my Soma chicas last night and today! I love my friends a lot. You are all such a blessing and the reason I feel loved. Thanks for calling, texting, and just generally being great. I have better friends than I deserve.
As far as the job hunt goes... well it goes. I have applied for 40+ jobs and have one interview... I'm not really excited about it either, it's not really what I want. I feel as though I am at the same crossroads I was at in December. Do I take a job because it is responsible and right and smart even though I will hate it? Or do I try and wait it out for a job I will actually have some interest in? I don't know what to do. There isn't a good answer.
I am doing ok, better than I thought I would be for sure. Anyway, I hope you all have a fantastic week! I am praying for you and your projects and tests and finals and for those of you not in school lets all praise Jesus for it! :)
I would also like to say thanks to my lovely friends for coming to visit recently. I had a blast with Allye and then Robyn this week! And then hang out time with my Soma chicas last night and today! I love my friends a lot. You are all such a blessing and the reason I feel loved. Thanks for calling, texting, and just generally being great. I have better friends than I deserve.
As far as the job hunt goes... well it goes. I have applied for 40+ jobs and have one interview... I'm not really excited about it either, it's not really what I want. I feel as though I am at the same crossroads I was at in December. Do I take a job because it is responsible and right and smart even though I will hate it? Or do I try and wait it out for a job I will actually have some interest in? I don't know what to do. There isn't a good answer.
I am doing ok, better than I thought I would be for sure. Anyway, I hope you all have a fantastic week! I am praying for you and your projects and tests and finals and for those of you not in school lets all praise Jesus for it! :)
Thursday, April 22, 2010
silly inspiration
While I was looking up inspirational quotes for someone else I found these and they are ridiculous. Enjoy...
"Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese." - Billie Burke
"Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you're alive it isn't." -Richard Bach
"Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so." -Bertrand Russell
"The shortest distance between two points is under construction". -Noelie Alito
And my favorite...
"It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg." – C. S. Lewis
"Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese." - Billie Burke
"Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished: If you're alive it isn't." -Richard Bach
"Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so." -Bertrand Russell
"The shortest distance between two points is under construction". -Noelie Alito
And my favorite...
"It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg." – C. S. Lewis
Monday, April 19, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
recently
Welp, as most of you know today I got fired from my job. It's the weirdest feeling to actually hear that you don't measure up. First of all, I want you all to know that I am okay. I really am. Yes, I am sad, and disappointed and frustrated. But I'm okay.
Secondly, I do not have a plan. Yes, I am applying for jobs furiously and no I have no leads. Other than that I don't know what the future holds. Ask all you like that will probably still be the answer. You ideas are welcome but know that I do say no(just ask my father) so don't be offended if I don't go chasing whatever it is that you came up with.
Third, you are welcome to come and visit. In fact, I would like that very much. For the time being I obviously don't have a job to go to so if you want to come and check on me or just hang out I am good with that. Don't feel like you have to but know that you are welcome. As far as this weekend goes, I am planning on going home to visit my family.
Fourth and finally, I know that this is all apart of God's plan. It is always pretty clear to me that I have no idea what God is doing in my life. There is purpose in this. I know that. It's not easy to swallow but I know it's true. God is good, even in confusion and frustration and sadness.
Thanks to all of you are praying. Your friendship and loyalty are really overwhelming to me most of the time. I am lucky to have you all in my life. So so lucky.
Secondly, I do not have a plan. Yes, I am applying for jobs furiously and no I have no leads. Other than that I don't know what the future holds. Ask all you like that will probably still be the answer. You ideas are welcome but know that I do say no(just ask my father) so don't be offended if I don't go chasing whatever it is that you came up with.
Third, you are welcome to come and visit. In fact, I would like that very much. For the time being I obviously don't have a job to go to so if you want to come and check on me or just hang out I am good with that. Don't feel like you have to but know that you are welcome. As far as this weekend goes, I am planning on going home to visit my family.
Fourth and finally, I know that this is all apart of God's plan. It is always pretty clear to me that I have no idea what God is doing in my life. There is purpose in this. I know that. It's not easy to swallow but I know it's true. God is good, even in confusion and frustration and sadness.
Thanks to all of you are praying. Your friendship and loyalty are really overwhelming to me most of the time. I am lucky to have you all in my life. So so lucky.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Friday, April 9, 2010
"Sorry I sound so mannish"
Allergies are EVIL. When people informed me that Austin had terrible allergies I pushed the worries aside. Eh, I have nothing to worry about. I've never had trouble with allergies before. Guess what? I am allergic, super allergic. I have been informed that the demon yellow pollen that has ascended upon every surface in the general area is OAK. Who knew such a pleasant tree could produce such a heinous compound? I didn't. I have also been informed that later this year I can look forward the onslaught of Cedar. Apparently, this little gem can produce a fever that is similar to the flu. Awesome.
Anyway, I am a triple cocktail of Zicam allergy, Zyrtec and Dayquil/Niquil. I don't really know what else to do. I am also trying to eat local honey (someone told me that helps). If you have an idea, lemme know. I am open to ANYTHING short of cutting off my head and honestly, at this point, I would even consider that. Ok, so not really. But kinda. :)
PS. Glee returns in 4 DAYS!!!!!!! Yippee!
Anyway, I am a triple cocktail of Zicam allergy, Zyrtec and Dayquil/Niquil. I don't really know what else to do. I am also trying to eat local honey (someone told me that helps). If you have an idea, lemme know. I am open to ANYTHING short of cutting off my head and honestly, at this point, I would even consider that. Ok, so not really. But kinda. :)
PS. Glee returns in 4 DAYS!!!!!!! Yippee!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Music and Lyrics
As some of you may know, "Friends in Low Places" by Garth Brooks was my absolute favorite song as a young child. I loved to sing it ALL the time. Needless to say, my mother was probably frequently embarrassed by her 6 year old belting out "Where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases my blues away" . That combined with my flare for the dramatic was likely concerning for her conservative baptist self.
Anyway, I heard that song on the radio today and I was JAMMING OUT. Loudly. I mean at stop lights people were giving me the stink eye. But I love that a song can do that for me. Music is such a good healthy thing in my life. I think that most of the people I know would agree with me.
On a non-related note entirely, Retta is coming tomorrow. I am pumped :)
Anyway, I heard that song on the radio today and I was JAMMING OUT. Loudly. I mean at stop lights people were giving me the stink eye. But I love that a song can do that for me. Music is such a good healthy thing in my life. I think that most of the people I know would agree with me.
Music is great. That's all.
On a non-related note entirely, Retta is coming tomorrow. I am pumped :)
"I've got Friends in Low Places" - Garth Brooks
(Verse 1 and Chorus)
Blame it all on my roots
I showed up in boots
And ruined your black tie affair
The last one to know
The last one to show
I was the last one
You thought you'd see there
And I saw the surprise
And the fear in his eyes
When I took his glass of champagne
And I toasted you
Said, honey, we may be through
But you'll never hear me complain
'Cause I've got friends in low places
Where the whiskey drowns
And the beer chases my blues away
And I'll be okay
I'm not big on social graces
Think I'll slip on down to the oasis
Oh, I've got friends in low places
(Verse 1 and Chorus)
Blame it all on my roots
I showed up in boots
And ruined your black tie affair
The last one to know
The last one to show
I was the last one
You thought you'd see there
And I saw the surprise
And the fear in his eyes
When I took his glass of champagne
And I toasted you
Said, honey, we may be through
But you'll never hear me complain
'Cause I've got friends in low places
Where the whiskey drowns
And the beer chases my blues away
And I'll be okay
I'm not big on social graces
Think I'll slip on down to the oasis
Oh, I've got friends in low places
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
how He loves us...
AT&T had us go train this morning at 7:30 am. Downtown. For 2 hours. After which we worked until 7 pm. Ri-dic-u-lous. Ok, well that is enough whining from me.
Sarah is coming tomorrow. Yippeeee! I get so excited when someone gets to come visit! Then I get to go home for the first time since January for Easter!
As this week heads closer to a time of remembrance I am overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by a savior that would endure immeasurable suffering, die a terrible death for a messed up sinner like me, like us. My heart is heavy with this knowledge. I am so ungrateful sometimes, so forgetful. In this time of reflection and brokenness I find myself speechless.
How He Loves - David Crowder
He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.
And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves.
We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
And Heaven meets earth like an unforseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…
Sarah is coming tomorrow. Yippeeee! I get so excited when someone gets to come visit! Then I get to go home for the first time since January for Easter!
As this week heads closer to a time of remembrance I am overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by a savior that would endure immeasurable suffering, die a terrible death for a messed up sinner like me, like us. My heart is heavy with this knowledge. I am so ungrateful sometimes, so forgetful. In this time of reflection and brokenness I find myself speechless.
How He Loves - David Crowder
He is jealous for me,
Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden,
I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realise just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.
And oh, how He loves us so,
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all
Yeah, He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves us,
Oh! how He loves.
We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking.
And Heaven meets earth like an unforseen kiss,
And my heart turns violently inside of my chest,
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets,
When I think about, the way…
Friday, March 26, 2010
a few randoms
- I had a terrible day at work. I think AT&T is stealing all my joy.
- Got Shelly's prayer card today! I am so so excited for her!
- All these cheating men (Tiger, Jesse James etc) along with all the cheating stories I have heard about normal people make me sad. I just feel so hopeless with that information.
- Trying to figure out this depression managing thing. Its not easy but I am grateful for people with open minds and good ideas.
- I really need to clean my apartment, badly.
- I ordered books through Amazon. Bad move. Now I know how easy it is.
- Chocolate Lave Crunch Cakes from Domino's are SO good. Try one. Unless you hate chocolate.
- I miss you all. A lot.
- Got Shelly's prayer card today! I am so so excited for her!
- All these cheating men (Tiger, Jesse James etc) along with all the cheating stories I have heard about normal people make me sad. I just feel so hopeless with that information.
- Trying to figure out this depression managing thing. Its not easy but I am grateful for people with open minds and good ideas.
- I really need to clean my apartment, badly.
- I ordered books through Amazon. Bad move. Now I know how easy it is.
- Chocolate Lave Crunch Cakes from Domino's are SO good. Try one. Unless you hate chocolate.
- I miss you all. A lot.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
a brief vacation.
I just got back from San Antonio where I met up with my parents. They wanted to take me out to celebrate graduating college. In some ways college feels a thousand years in the past and in some it feels like I graduated 10 minutes ago. Its bizarre really...
Pictured below is The Tower of the America's. It is where my parents got engaged and I have always wanted to eat there. The restaurant is at the top of that thing. It was nuts.
Anyway, it was so good to relax and get away. Really really good. It was almost a healing time. So strange that I see it that way. I am so grateful for my parents, so proud to be there daughter. I think that it is safe to say that my perspective has changed. Adulthood is weird.
Pictured below is The Tower of the America's. It is where my parents got engaged and I have always wanted to eat there. The restaurant is at the top of that thing. It was nuts.
Anyway, it was so good to relax and get away. Really really good. It was almost a healing time. So strange that I see it that way. I am so grateful for my parents, so proud to be there daughter. I think that it is safe to say that my perspective has changed. Adulthood is weird.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
a peek into the future...
I dunno when or where it will be or who I will be dancing with but we will be dancing to this at my wedding... Get pumped. Plus, this song just puts me in a good mood. Bet it will do the same for you, even if you aren't a fan of country :)
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Ugh.
I cannot wait to get another job.
I can't do this much longer.
I thought I could just hang in there and suck it up.
But ya know what, I can't
I would rather live at home than do this anymore.
And that is saying something.
New. Job. Now.
I can't do this much longer.
I thought I could just hang in there and suck it up.
But ya know what, I can't
I would rather live at home than do this anymore.
And that is saying something.
New. Job. Now.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
sex, plungers, and womanhood.
Today I had to go to Home Depot to buy my first plunger. To which my father said: "You are officially a woman". As if he had doubted my womanhood before. I have no idea what this statement meant but I am stoked to offcially be a woman...
After leaving Home Depot I got into my car, plunger by my side, and looked forward. Why oh why did I do such a thing?! I realize that is the "normal" thing to do but it is a moment I now regret. Heartily. In the green four door sedan in front of me two young individuals were canoodling in front of me. And by "canoodling" I really mean "having sex". Naked Naked sex. Sick. My plunger and I will be scarred forever.
I am not sure what about Home Depot these young lovers found so arousing, but I wish they had found it to be something... else. Gross Gross Gross. Be glad you missed it. I'm sure you are.
Anyway, I would like to know why Target does not carry plungers. I am just saying, if they had plungers I would still be able to see. But my plunger, Bill and I wouldn't be such good friends. So... yeah. Bye now.
After leaving Home Depot I got into my car, plunger by my side, and looked forward. Why oh why did I do such a thing?! I realize that is the "normal" thing to do but it is a moment I now regret. Heartily. In the green four door sedan in front of me two young individuals were canoodling in front of me. And by "canoodling" I really mean "having sex". Naked Naked sex. Sick. My plunger and I will be scarred forever.
I am not sure what about Home Depot these young lovers found so arousing, but I wish they had found it to be something... else. Gross Gross Gross. Be glad you missed it. I'm sure you are.
Anyway, I would like to know why Target does not carry plungers. I am just saying, if they had plungers I would still be able to see. But my plunger, Bill and I wouldn't be such good friends. So... yeah. Bye now.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Silly
Is it ridiculous that I am proud of myself when I hit "play" at exactly the right second on my DVR?
You don't have to answer that... I already know I am.
Good night.
You don't have to answer that... I already know I am.
Good night.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Comfort
"Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe... just breathe"
- Anna Nalick "Breathe"
"To the one who's dreams are falling all apart
And all you're left with is a tired and broken heart
I can tell by your eyes you think your on your own
but you're not all alone.
You will be safe in His arms
You will be safe in His arms
'Cause the hands that hold the world are holding your heart
This is the promise He made
He will be with You always
When everything is falling apart
You will be safe in His arms"
"Safe" - Phil Wickham
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
– Maya Angelou
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button, girl.
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe... just breathe"
- Anna Nalick "Breathe"
"To the one who's dreams are falling all apart
And all you're left with is a tired and broken heart
I can tell by your eyes you think your on your own
but you're not all alone.
You will be safe in His arms
You will be safe in His arms
'Cause the hands that hold the world are holding your heart
This is the promise He made
He will be with You always
When everything is falling apart
You will be safe in His arms"
"Safe" - Phil Wickham
“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
– Maya Angelou
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Unsure
As most of you know, I have been dealing with or managing (or whatever you would say to make the phrase less awkward) depression. It is one of those things that I feel like comes in waves. I have these moments and time periods when I feel good. I feel like the proverbial "dark cloud" is far away and it is easier to manage. And then there are those times... The times I dread. The dark cloud is hovering, looming. It's reality. I can't really describe to you how it feels. It reminds me of when cold weather is moving in. You feel the wind blowing, there's a chill, the air feels crisper. Then all of a sudden its snowing. And I feel overwhelmed.
I know part of this is stress and anxiety. I know that one always contributes to the other. I know that God is bigger than this. I have said more than once that I see the light at the end of the tunnel with all of this. The truth is, the waves come and go. Some days are good, some are terrible.
I have no real answer. Or question for that matter. I feel like I have mulled through the things I felt were the cause of the initial onset of depression pretty thoroughly. The past is the past. I am good with that. I am rambling. Just keep me in your prayers friends.
I know part of this is stress and anxiety. I know that one always contributes to the other. I know that God is bigger than this. I have said more than once that I see the light at the end of the tunnel with all of this. The truth is, the waves come and go. Some days are good, some are terrible.
I have no real answer. Or question for that matter. I feel like I have mulled through the things I felt were the cause of the initial onset of depression pretty thoroughly. The past is the past. I am good with that. I am rambling. Just keep me in your prayers friends.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Random
- The American Idol contestants aren't very good this year
- I bought couch pillows and covers this week, my living room no longer looks like the 80's barfed everywhere
- I have a new co-worker and I really like her so far
- I think I will go back to being a brunette, blonde hair is expensive
- I love cold weather a lot, best week ever
- I have started looking at grad schools, but I still can't decide what I should go to grad school for
- I am a bad American, I am so ready for the Olympics to be over
- I really really hate AT&T commercials
-This post has WAY too many "I"s in it
- Law and Order: SVU freaked me out again, hence this blog post
-Night night dolls
- I bought couch pillows and covers this week, my living room no longer looks like the 80's barfed everywhere
- I have a new co-worker and I really like her so far
- I think I will go back to being a brunette, blonde hair is expensive
- I love cold weather a lot, best week ever
- I have started looking at grad schools, but I still can't decide what I should go to grad school for
- I am a bad American, I am so ready for the Olympics to be over
- I really really hate AT&T commercials
-This post has WAY too many "I"s in it
- Law and Order: SVU freaked me out again, hence this blog post
-Night night dolls
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
weary
Today it snowed in Austin. It was SO pretty. Big fluffy snowflakes of loveliness. I didn't enjoy driving all the way downtown at 7am to go to training but the snow was glorious :)
I have been really missing my tribe recently. After a long day, I don't think that I realized how much my best friends heal and encourage me. Just to be around the people who know me and love me in spite of knowing me sometimes :) I love my new friends here in Austin a lot. They are fantastic in fact. I love the community that is building and forming around me. I am excited about the prospect of growing those friendships.
But on a day like today, I really just want to be with the people whom I love more than most. I miss you friends. I miss you a lot.
I have been really missing my tribe recently. After a long day, I don't think that I realized how much my best friends heal and encourage me. Just to be around the people who know me and love me in spite of knowing me sometimes :) I love my new friends here in Austin a lot. They are fantastic in fact. I love the community that is building and forming around me. I am excited about the prospect of growing those friendships.
But on a day like today, I really just want to be with the people whom I love more than most. I miss you friends. I miss you a lot.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Taco Smell.
I think Taco Bell gave me food poisoning. I hate you Taco Bell.
When I don't feel good, I always miss my mom and my friends. So, peeps know that are being missed especially tonight. If Allye or Racheal, my nurse amigas were here they would know what to do :)
If you thought I got tired of Mexican food before, buckle up. After tonight, I may never partake of such food again. Just the thought is making me nauseous again.
On another (less vomit-like) note, work is getting better. Thanks for praying. God has been really present as of recent. I am still keeping my eyes peeled for other oppotunities but God has really started changing my heart in this place. I am finding supernatural gratitude in the strangest moments.
Nighty-Night lovelies.
When I don't feel good, I always miss my mom and my friends. So, peeps know that are being missed especially tonight. If Allye or Racheal, my nurse amigas were here they would know what to do :)
If you thought I got tired of Mexican food before, buckle up. After tonight, I may never partake of such food again. Just the thought is making me nauseous again.
On another (less vomit-like) note, work is getting better. Thanks for praying. God has been really present as of recent. I am still keeping my eyes peeled for other oppotunities but God has really started changing my heart in this place. I am finding supernatural gratitude in the strangest moments.
Nighty-Night lovelies.
Sunday, February 14, 2010
On Love.
Welp folks, in case you live under a rock I will remind you that today was Valentines Day. Now, normally I am one to try to make the best of this day by smoothing over it and distracting myself.
Honestly, today was the best Valentines Day ever. My sweet little brother Brett showed up with roses and took me to dinner and then we played at Wal-mart until midnight. It was super fun. He also brought me my mom's extra waffle maker. So we made waffles... Also awesome. Then I went to a party with my new church peeps. It is so good to be amongst people that are starting to feel like family.
I am so grateful that the God who loves me and showed me His love through others today. Love never fails. No matter what day of the year it is. But on a day like today, it's just good to be reminded.
Honestly, today was the best Valentines Day ever. My sweet little brother Brett showed up with roses and took me to dinner and then we played at Wal-mart until midnight. It was super fun. He also brought me my mom's extra waffle maker. So we made waffles... Also awesome. Then I went to a party with my new church peeps. It is so good to be amongst people that are starting to feel like family.
I am so grateful that the God who loves me and showed me His love through others today. Love never fails. No matter what day of the year it is. But on a day like today, it's just good to be reminded.
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Odds and Ends
A few things I forgot to mention:
- I finally framed my Robyn Allison Haiti pictures and the Robyn wall of fame looks quite smashing
- My parents are on the way to visit me! Yay!
- A guy at Bed Bath and Beyond found out I work at At&t and whipped his phone out right there and started asking me questions about it. I almost laughed aloud.
- I love Soma, my new church. I love it more every time I get to hang out with em'
- I loved all the twitters I kept getting from Verge 2010. Here are some of my favs:
- I finally framed my Robyn Allison Haiti pictures and the Robyn wall of fame looks quite smashing
- My parents are on the way to visit me! Yay!
- A guy at Bed Bath and Beyond found out I work at At&t and whipped his phone out right there and started asking me questions about it. I almost laughed aloud.
- I love Soma, my new church. I love it more every time I get to hang out with em'
- I loved all the twitters I kept getting from Verge 2010. Here are some of my favs:
- "Every book in the new testament talks about suffering, and yet we act surprised when it happens." - Francis Chan
- "The highest form of love is loving those who have betrayed you...just like Christ" -Francis Chan
- "We define "neighbor" incorrectly. we think of someone like us that lives in our neighborhood." - Dave Gibbons
- "You cannot build a church on consumers" - Hirsch
Saturday, February 6, 2010
winter fair in the square
February began this week... it was mostly uneventful. In fact work was excruciatingly slow.
I did get to go to Belton and visit most of my people. (Sorry we missed each other Allye and Sarah!) It was so good to just be around them all again. A couple of people asked me why I came so early because I got the wonderful opportunity to work at the event. Hah. Honestly, I came just to surround myself with my friends. I just wanted to be around them. Just the presence of the people who know me, and whom I know is one of the most healing powerful "God-things" in my life.
As much as I love the people I am meeting in Austin, we're still doing that "getting to know each other" dance. Thank you friends for being yourselves. I needed each of you this Tuesday and it was so so so good to be amongst my tribe. I am grateful and overwhelmed by the love I have for each of you.
In other news, tomorrow is the Super Bowl. I could not honestly care less. But, if your having a get together, let me know. I might come for the queso or something :)
I did get to go to Belton and visit most of my people. (Sorry we missed each other Allye and Sarah!) It was so good to just be around them all again. A couple of people asked me why I came so early because I got the wonderful opportunity to work at the event. Hah. Honestly, I came just to surround myself with my friends. I just wanted to be around them. Just the presence of the people who know me, and whom I know is one of the most healing powerful "God-things" in my life.
As much as I love the people I am meeting in Austin, we're still doing that "getting to know each other" dance. Thank you friends for being yourselves. I needed each of you this Tuesday and it was so so so good to be amongst my tribe. I am grateful and overwhelmed by the love I have for each of you.
In other news, tomorrow is the Super Bowl. I could not honestly care less. But, if your having a get together, let me know. I might come for the queso or something :)
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Miss USA and the Robyns
The Miss America Pageant is currently on my TV. Yes, I realize that I should not waste my life watching this crap. But that is besides the point. I would first like to say that Miss Texas is not a blonde. I always feel like she should be. Secondly, the dance they make them do is SUPER stupid looking. Finally, I always imagine that there is an assassin trying to kill the winner and that Miss Congeniality is going to have to save her. Thanks Sandra Bullock.
On another note completely, I would like to say that I am super excited for and proud of one miss Robyn Allison! It is incredible to hear about what God is doing through her for the nation of Haiti! Support her by buying one of her pictures on ---> ETSY!
I am also super excited to hear about Robyn Pharis and her engagement to Eli! Congrats lady! I am so excited for you!
Needless to say, it has been a good week to be named Robyn.
On another note completely, I would like to say that I am super excited for and proud of one miss Robyn Allison! It is incredible to hear about what God is doing through her for the nation of Haiti! Support her by buying one of her pictures on ---> ETSY!
I am also super excited to hear about Robyn Pharis and her engagement to Eli! Congrats lady! I am so excited for you!
Needless to say, it has been a good week to be named Robyn.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Waste of your time.
1. Book Of Eli was AMAZING. Go see it.
2. I am a huge fan of parking validation.
3, I have the day off tomorrow and I am pretty excited about it.
4. I am coming to the winter carnival in Belton on Tuesday, see you there!
5. I like making friends. But don't worry my 3 faithful readers, I still miss you all.
6. This blog post is pointless.
7. I didn't want to leave this list at #6... 7 seems better.
2. I am a huge fan of parking validation.
3, I have the day off tomorrow and I am pretty excited about it.
4. I am coming to the winter carnival in Belton on Tuesday, see you there!
5. I like making friends. But don't worry my 3 faithful readers, I still miss you all.
6. This blog post is pointless.
7. I didn't want to leave this list at #6... 7 seems better.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Being content and drunken baptists.
On Sunday, I went to church with my younger brother Brett. The pastor talked about Joseph (the technicolor dream coat owner) and how life led him to places that some would say were unpleasant... For example: the bottom of a pit, slavery and egyptian jail. The whole point of the sermon was that God was in the center of it all. Joesph was faithful. On some level he knew that God had a plan in the midst of the things he couldn't comprehend.
It was just what I needed to hear. Most days, I have left work and I am unsure of why God has me where He does. Work has been less than ideal as of late and I find myself frustrated most days. I realize that in the grand scheme of what is going on in the world right now this frustration is petty. However, it was really good to be reminded that God is in the middle. His hand is guiding my days and weeks. I do not see the whole picture but I am leaning to be content and faithful. God has a reason, and for now that is enough. I hope that wherever God has you, you find that His hand is with you too.
On a MUCH less serious note, Brett has recently decided he is Presbyterian. We took communion at his church this Sunday and it was actual wine in the tiny plastic cup thingies. When I drank that "devil's drink" right there in front of my parents and God and everyone, my former little baptist girl self felt quite rebellious. It was ridiculous. I have since dealt with some minor guilt for my irreverent-ness. But boy was my mom's face funny when she threw back what she though was going to be grape juice. Classic.
It was just what I needed to hear. Most days, I have left work and I am unsure of why God has me where He does. Work has been less than ideal as of late and I find myself frustrated most days. I realize that in the grand scheme of what is going on in the world right now this frustration is petty. However, it was really good to be reminded that God is in the middle. His hand is guiding my days and weeks. I do not see the whole picture but I am leaning to be content and faithful. God has a reason, and for now that is enough. I hope that wherever God has you, you find that His hand is with you too.
On a MUCH less serious note, Brett has recently decided he is Presbyterian. We took communion at his church this Sunday and it was actual wine in the tiny plastic cup thingies. When I drank that "devil's drink" right there in front of my parents and God and everyone, my former little baptist girl self felt quite rebellious. It was ridiculous. I have since dealt with some minor guilt for my irreverent-ness. But boy was my mom's face funny when she threw back what she though was going to be grape juice. Classic.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
life
This week I:
-Went to church at Soma Community Church and fell in love with a new congregation
- Had Angie over for the weekend, we cooked and played. It was pretty great.
- Found more than one great Chinese food place to eat. Yum.
- Mourned and prayed for Haiti. I feel like I should be doing more, I am looking for opportunities to do so, if you hear something let me know. So far I know of World Vision, Compassion International, Red Cross, And several Water-Providing Charities.
I heard a song today that I love. I am going to leave you with the lyrics to the chorus:
"Love Like Crazy" -Lee Brice
"Be a best friend
Tell the truth
Over-use I love you
Go to work
Do your best
Don't out smart your common sense
Never let your prayin knees get lazy
And love like crazy"
-Went to church at Soma Community Church and fell in love with a new congregation
- Had Angie over for the weekend, we cooked and played. It was pretty great.
- Found more than one great Chinese food place to eat. Yum.
- Mourned and prayed for Haiti. I feel like I should be doing more, I am looking for opportunities to do so, if you hear something let me know. So far I know of World Vision, Compassion International, Red Cross, And several Water-Providing Charities.
I heard a song today that I love. I am going to leave you with the lyrics to the chorus:
"Love Like Crazy" -Lee Brice
"Be a best friend
Tell the truth
Over-use I love you
Go to work
Do your best
Don't out smart your common sense
Never let your prayin knees get lazy
And love like crazy"
Monday, January 11, 2010
Copycat again
Ok, following in Allye, Sarah and Robyn's footsteps, I wanted to do a picture for every month... But as we all know I am terrible at remembering to take pictures and/or remembering my camera. So I will include a random assortment for 2009.
These are in no particular order, because lets face it:
1. I have no real desire for organization and
2. I don't remember what month some of them occurred in
They are just some of my favorites :)
These girls are the best :)
Christi and Angie helping me move in, they are "being lamps"
Melissa's wedding, My favorite part is her grandmother on the left...
Brett's Birthday dinner, I love these two.
RA dinner at PF Chang, the lettuce wraps are killer good.
Me and the parents on Graduation day, don't they look proud?
Sarah and Teaven got engaged! I am so happy for these two!
These are in no particular order, because lets face it:
1. I have no real desire for organization and
2. I don't remember what month some of them occurred in
They are just some of my favorites :)
These girls are the best :)
Christi and Angie helping me move in, they are "being lamps"
Melissa's wedding, My favorite part is her grandmother on the left...
Brett's Birthday dinner, I love these two.
RA dinner at PF Chang, the lettuce wraps are killer good.
Me and the parents on Graduation day, don't they look proud?
Sarah and Teaven got engaged! I am so happy for these two!
Saturday, January 9, 2010
On Adulthood
Today I applied for my first credit card... It is weird to be an adult.
I get up, shower, put on my "work clothes", drive to work, work hard, get off, pay bills, make dinner, sleep. Occasionally have a social life somewhere in there. It is totally what I expected in some ways and totally different than what I thought it would be in others.
I have all this independence and responsibility and freedom. That part is great. I love it in fact.
Sometimes I get lonely because I have no friends yet, don't worry I am working on it.
Mostly, this whole venturing out on my own thing is challenging me to walk in the faith I have always claimed. Things haven't always been easy in my life but in the grand scheme of things I have a pretty cushy existence. Well, now I have all these things to "worry" about. Money is leaving faster than its coming in, my workplace is less than ideal to say the least and I have no support system near. I am doing way better with all of this than I ever thought I would be.
God is so present and faithful. I feel like for the first time in a long time I am living moment to moment with Him. I couldn't possibly be doing this otherwise. Its literally the scariest most wonderful thing I have ever done. Pray for me. This adventure is only beginning.
I get up, shower, put on my "work clothes", drive to work, work hard, get off, pay bills, make dinner, sleep. Occasionally have a social life somewhere in there. It is totally what I expected in some ways and totally different than what I thought it would be in others.
I have all this independence and responsibility and freedom. That part is great. I love it in fact.
Sometimes I get lonely because I have no friends yet, don't worry I am working on it.
Mostly, this whole venturing out on my own thing is challenging me to walk in the faith I have always claimed. Things haven't always been easy in my life but in the grand scheme of things I have a pretty cushy existence. Well, now I have all these things to "worry" about. Money is leaving faster than its coming in, my workplace is less than ideal to say the least and I have no support system near. I am doing way better with all of this than I ever thought I would be.
God is so present and faithful. I feel like for the first time in a long time I am living moment to moment with Him. I couldn't possibly be doing this otherwise. Its literally the scariest most wonderful thing I have ever done. Pray for me. This adventure is only beginning.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
A Brief Overview.
Well, here we are 2010. Its weird that it is a new year.
Robyn came to visit today, it made my week.
I realized that I have been in Austin just about a month. That is weird.
I am just now getting over the moving out of the "Belton Bubble" shock.
It is REALLY cold outside. I am thankful for my heater.
I finally get to visit a church this Sunday. I am pretty excited about it.
Robyn knows a lot about Apartment living. Who knew?
I realized again today how ugly my couches are.
I wish I had something profound to say, but I don't
Goodnight.
Robyn came to visit today, it made my week.
I realized that I have been in Austin just about a month. That is weird.
I am just now getting over the moving out of the "Belton Bubble" shock.
It is REALLY cold outside. I am thankful for my heater.
I finally get to visit a church this Sunday. I am pretty excited about it.
Robyn knows a lot about Apartment living. Who knew?
I realized again today how ugly my couches are.
I wish I had something profound to say, but I don't
Goodnight.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
And the world spins madly on
So, today I got Cable and Internet... And I am so excited. I also have furniture as of Christmas day when the family helped me move it all down here. My apartment is finally starting to feel like home.
Work is good as far as work goes. I still have A LOT to learn and I make mistakes pretty much every day but its going ok. I am going to say that the cell phone industry is complicated and I am pretty positive it will not be a life long career. But, we'll have to see.
A lot more than that had happened since my last post but nothing of great consequence. It's a little lonely but I'm making it. If you're reading this I am probably missing you right now :)
Work is good as far as work goes. I still have A LOT to learn and I make mistakes pretty much every day but its going ok. I am going to say that the cell phone industry is complicated and I am pretty positive it will not be a life long career. But, we'll have to see.
A lot more than that had happened since my last post but nothing of great consequence. It's a little lonely but I'm making it. If you're reading this I am probably missing you right now :)
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