Today I had to go to Home Depot to buy my first plunger. To which my father said: "You are officially a woman". As if he had doubted my womanhood before. I have no idea what this statement meant but I am stoked to offcially be a woman...
After leaving Home Depot I got into my car, plunger by my side, and looked forward. Why oh why did I do such a thing?! I realize that is the "normal" thing to do but it is a moment I now regret. Heartily. In the green four door sedan in front of me two young individuals were canoodling in front of me. And by "canoodling" I really mean "having sex". Naked Naked sex. Sick. My plunger and I will be scarred forever.
I am not sure what about Home Depot these young lovers found so arousing, but I wish they had found it to be something... else. Gross Gross Gross. Be glad you missed it. I'm sure you are.
Anyway, I would like to know why Target does not carry plungers. I am just saying, if they had plungers I would still be able to see. But my plunger, Bill and I wouldn't be such good friends. So... yeah. Bye now.
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