5 more days...

I can't wait!

Seriously, how can watch this and not smile?

Commitment

This weekend marked the 60th wedding anniversary for one set of my grandparents... The other set has been married 66 years. Holy crap. That is a LONG time. Now it is unlikely that I will live long enough to have a 60th wedding anniversary because all my grandparents got married pretty young. That is if I get married of course :)

Anyway, it's just amazing to me... 60 years. They have been doing this for 60 years. They lived through the depression, wars, living on mere dollars a week, death, and new life, and everything in between... and they are still together, united, solid. Not always happy, not always healthy but after all, the vows never promised that. How many people do you know that have that kind of commitment? How often do we as people give up on something because it's hard or boring or not what we expected? Too often.

thoughts.

Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls;

the most massive characters are seared with scars"

-Kahil Gibran

lesson learned.

Look out world, day 4 here I come!

When I was a little girl both my parents worked full time. So, I frequently spent time with my Grandma. She liked to teach me little "lessons" every day. I guess she felt like teaching me was her job. I learned things like "red means stop, green means go, yellow means slow down", "leche is spanish for milk" and "hola is hello".

However, one of these little lessons that has always stuck with me is a lesson we did on coloring. I was trying to color around the picture, adding my own artistic touches. I also suck at coloring in the the lines of a picture to this day so I didn't really rock at it then. Grandma walked over to me and said "Brooke you have to try to color in the lines, Cast's color in the lines". And I have found in later years that statement a little... well interesting. I don't think a big long explanation is required as to why. All I have to say is, here's to those of us who like to color outside the lines. Keep on coloring.

rememberance

I know, I have blogged 3 days in a row... weird.

It was a year ago in May that a lovely and wildly wonderful friend of mine gave in to her sorrow and took her own life. I can't believe that the day just passed me by without any real consequence. It was a day that changed my thinking entirely.

I remember exactly the moment that Kyle, a friend from cstat, called me to tell me that Kellie was gone. I couldn't move. Couldn't even process. Sometimes I wonder if I ever really have. I remember sitting in a pew between my parents trying to hold my crap together (poorly I'll admit) because I didn't want anyone to notice us. Hugging people that I hadn't talked to in years because we all needed to know we weren't alone.

Kellie and I had known each other a long time. We struggled with some similar things and I had the priviledge of walking alongside her while she was dealing with the muck she was living in. She loved Jesus. So so much. She cared about her friends. She wanted to make the world a better place. She loved to sing and play her guitar. She was a good friend. I miss her everytime I hear any number of songs.

Kellie's death taught me so much about life and those that suicide leaves behind. It taught me that despite my sometimes overwhelming feelings of hopelessness, life is worth it. It showed me that I want to beat this depression thing. And I think I have Kellie to thank for a lot of the progress I have made in this past year.

I can't believe all that has happened since May of last year. It's easy to forget what we have learned. Not just in this situation but in all of them. How often do I revert back to junk I thought I had conquered? All the time. I miss Kellie a lot. But, I think she would have been pleased to know that those who loved her are learning from her struggles. Miss ya Kel.

I miss dancing.

A scene from one of my favs. Because I feel like it.